Apr 29 2008
Bride in Training
As a never-before-married 27 year old who found herself blissfully engaged in October of last year, I am still training for my big day. No I won’t be running a 25 mile marathon but I’m preparing for a day that has never happened to me or will (hopefully) never happen to me again. Issues I never thought about are stemming from every direction of my family tree and the cost continues to climb. Issues such as inviting kids, who can bring a date, determining the time table for the day, who to include in the wedding party, determining how much to spend on the honeymoon…..oh the list could go on for decades.
In order to keep my sanity and allow me to focus on the reason I’m getting married rather than the escapades of the day, I’ve developed a simple plan to keep me focus. Five steps to sanity and to NOT becoming a brideszilla.
1. When selecting the wedding party, don’t feel you HAVE to have your not-so-long-time-friend as a bridesmaid just because she asked you to be in hers. Some things are better left to your own judgement. I actually am having two maids of honours because I could never choose between my two best buds. I couldn’t imagine choosing one over the other just because of what an outdated wedding manual tells me.
2. Set a budget but also ensure there is a little room to grow. Unexpected costs will appear! We had set aside a budget of $4000 for our honeymoon but after spending a late night researching the possible islands and resorts available, our hearts were really set on a more inclusive, expensive resort. After contemplating the money, we decided to jump on the one and only opportunity to spend our honeymoon the way we would like to spend it. In this case, we are going very glam. Yes we spent a few hundred dollars more than expected but we had to budget for that possibility to occur. Instead of spending more on centrepieces we both decided the honeymoon was more important to us.
3. Allow family and friends to contribute their opinions regarding the wedding planning but in the end stay true to one another’s tastes. My parents are helping alot with the costs of the wedding and therefore contributing a lot of ideas. As we are very greatful for their contributions financially, ideas pertaining to room decor, dress styles and whether or not to have an open bar (we are paying for this one) are all things that are important to us and which reflect our personal styles. We politely listen but in the end must go with our own choices.
4. Put a list together of the essentials you absolutely desire at your wedding. Then don’t sweat the small stuff. This tactic has worked beautifully for me in my planning. Everything I want for my special day is ordered. Any extras are now just special ad-ons.
5. Keep It Simple. As I mentioned above, have the list of things you want and allow the extras to be something special and unexpected. Be sure to keep everything simple in your planning though, as you would be surprised at how many things can go wrong if you just try and complicate things! Flowers for example are better left simple. I’m going with roses. They are available year round and really look elegant. If I were to choose say Cala Lilies, what a pain it would be to find them and expense for them! They bloom in late Spring and I’ll be getting married in late fall.
Obviously I’m in the learning process and am a bride in training. I can offer up advice but I’m constantly turning to websites and friends for additional support. Yes this will be a big day for me and my fiance and so far so good. I’ll let you know when I’m completely going insane (probably two weeks before the big day).
